


Sine Die

by Links6



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst and Feels, Everything Hurts, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Isolation, Loneliness, M/M, OTP Feels, References to Depression, Reincarnation, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, So much angst, Time Travel Fix-It, except nothing gets fixed, so many feels, why do I do this to myself?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 20:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13725849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Links6/pseuds/Links6
Summary: Sine die (ad.v.) to create a meeting without setting a date for it.... saying you'll meet someone again, without a specified date attached to it.Kaworu has been through this lifetime seventeen times already, and still, Shinji Ikari still surprises him...





	Sine Die

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It was possible, that Shinji knew.

 

Maybe, not consciously, but the intuition of a human was quite capable of clairsentience.

 

Or, maybe, the young man simply accepted the comfort they shared out of desperation and loneliness.

 

No matter how many times Tabbris had to return, he would never grow tired of this.

 

No matter how many times he would befriend the young man, try to change their fate, but somehow, almost as if it truly were his karmic fate, fail.

 

Yet, this would be the seventeenth time he'd returned from Heaven. This would be the seventeenth time he attempted to change what would transpire. He felt, in a way, this time he would succeed. After all, he was also the seventeenth angel, this would truly be the time he would succeed.

 

“Do you dislike being around people?” Tabbris had said, having learnt from experience to word his questions in a form which would allow the other to speak.

 

It was obvious, more so in this form than others, that Shinji hadn't made friends at all. When he spoke, it was short bursts of ramblings that seemed to come unheeded from his own mouth. Yet, the angel couldn't find that sheer unfiltered truth anything but endearing.

 

“More or less...” Shinji had answered, not committing to a simple answer as usual, “Not that it really mattered... I could just exist on my own... but, I know I _really_ hated my father.”

 

There is was, that spark of defiance when hurt. That solid wall formed by the light of his spirit, from experience, Tabbris knew he could never intrude on that inner world. He had tried, once. It was truly impossible. The young man, so weak and seemingly meek, held a mind that could not be broken, no matter how much force was used. It wasn't even only simply a matter of being strong in character, it was integrity to principles and his own moral code, this had made him an ironclad defence.

 

This stronghold also seemed to have isolated himself willingly from others. Utterly and completely isolated himself by personal choice. A chosen exile. Only...

 

From what the angel had seen, he'd been empathic to those around him. He had willingly risked his life for them. A vessel that had so completely withdrawn himself from human connections was still willing to sacrifice everything for them.

 

“I think I was born just to meet you,” Kaworu states simply, an affectionate smile still gracing his features.

 

From the previous incarnations of Shinji Ikari, there had been many reactions. Annoyance, the most common. Embarrassment, second most. But each time it was different.

 

Apathy, or, at least, the mirage of it. He'd looked over, but gave no comment. Shinji had studied him for a moment, but gave no comment.

 

In this version of himself, Shinji Ikari was more isolated, more introverted and seemed to find value -not from within- but from external sources. He seemed more unsure, yet stubborn... more powerful, yet fragile.

 

But that was what had Tabbris had always loved about the young man. He was truly his own person, even if he never even realized it himself.

 

Shinji had been the only person he'd ever met whom had been so completely and utterly individualized and possessed such a rich mind and intellect, that no matter how many times he would be reincarnated, he'd remain just as enigma as the first time they met.

 

“Karowu,” a soft whisper finally broke the silence.

 

Of course, this was the name that Tabbris has chosen for himself. This name he'd chosen out of millions to which he would be addressed while on earth once more. The name, though not Heavenly assigned, had more meaning to him than his own. At least, it had truly become meaningful since the first time the young man next to him had addressed him by it.

 

“Thanks for letting me stay...” Shinji said, finding his voice and trying to sound as happy as he could.

 

The underlying pain was still there, but he hid it as well as he always does. He would carry his burdens alone, he always did.

 

So... this was something unexpected, Tabbris realizes at that moment, that the offer had been taken. That Shinji had acquiesced to stay. This had never happened before.

 

The white-haired male couldn't stop himself from smiling. He turned until he was facing the other and muttered words he knew he would forever mean, “You can stay as long as you want...” 

 


End file.
